Never would I thought I would see my action figures come to life.
From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos.
I remember when I was about 5 years old and playing with my GI Joe's and every time I just remember making the most outlandish things happen to these guys but never could I think what I thought would happen in this movie.
Think of the craziest things that could ever happen in a film, and you have GI Joe: Rise of The Cobra. Mayhem is everywhere in this movie: in the streets, the North Pole, even in the kitchen, yeah it goes everywhere. The film is exciting and filled with so much action and fun that it really did keep my eye on the screen for long. It's brainless but very harmful fun and being a huge fan of the toys, and a little bit of the cartoon show I was pleased.
Much of the action was stylized with some great special effects. Some may call them lackluster or inconsistent, but I call them very well-done. Much of the effects look great and actually look close to real life, there is an image of the Eiffel Tower and it does actually look like its falling, and there are really some amazing shots of chases in the sea and through the street that just look amazing.
The film does however have some big downfalls. The film borrowed a lot of scenes and inventions from other big-budget science fiction films such as Iron Man and Transformers. There are a couple of scenes of suits that just look exactly like the Iron Man suit and were never brought up in the action figures at all.
The screenplay is pretty horrendous as well. The film doesn't take itself too seriously and includes some clever one-liners, but when there delivered from Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller, and not the comedian Marlon Wayans, you have a problem. The lines were so corny and obvious that I couldn't help but think I was watching Superman or The Dark Knight, I will give credit to Marlon Wayans who does make this film a lot funnier with his deliverance and shows he can deliver in any film.
I felt like the ensemble cast was very well-picked but juts didn't deliver like I thought it could. Channing Tatum does a really bad job and just looks and feels like a plastic toys the whole time and his love interest Sienna Miller were not very believable as a couple and she wasn't very deadly either. I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and I was excited to see him in this film but I think just how they used him was bull and could've been used better anyway. Marlon Wayans and Christopher Ecceleston do well and make their scenes count even with the little amount of time they have.
Consensus: The action and mayhem is in your face and keeps your eyes glued to the screen but the cheesy liners delivered by some horrendous acting just makes ths film another big-budget summer movie.
6/10=Rental!!!
Media > Movies > 2009 > G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra > All Reviews
Yo Joe - 23 August 2009
overall: 6
Hilariously bad - 10 August 2009
overall: 3
Before I start, let me say that I'm not a G.I. Joe fan. I only had one G.I. Joe as a kid, but it was just a regular guy instead of one of the fancy characters that the movie seems to be all about. I really just never got into the whole action figure phase (I was more of a Lego kid). Due to this fact, I will simply review this as a standalone movie and not as a movie catering to a franchise.
The Rise of Cobra is easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It was so cheesy and outrageously stupid that my friends and I practically didn't stop laughing the whole way through. From the plot (which was all over the place) to the poor acting to the ridiculous antics such as sinking a polar ice cap with explosives (last time I checked, ice floats), just about everything went wrong in this movie.
I can see why some people might have liked this movie. It was clearly all about the over-the-top action and high quality special effects. However, with this emphasis on violence, the movie got considerably dumbed down. This is the type of movie where the extras make themselves easy targets in battle by standing around in the open. It's the type of movie where insane physics-defying vehicle stunts worthy of a Transporter movie can be pulled off. Even better, it's a movie where just about anything can explode. The high tech gadgets are flaunted so excessively throughout the movie that the G.I. Joes need to use a special probability meter to determine that the bad guys they're chasing are heading for the Eiffel Tower even when the structure is about a block away. Simply put, this movie was made for viewers that don't want to have to think at all while watching.
The plot of the movie feels more like a parody or comedy than a real film. Viewers are thrown right into the action without any idea as to what is going on, and the first battle of the movie is probably the most confusing one, considering I didn't even know who was on what team. The film does a terrible job at creating any sort of solid story or history for us to understand, and attempts to make up for it by throwing in random flashbacks about the different heroes at different times. While the good ninja Snake Eyes (Ray Park) is battling the evil ninja Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee), one of them suddenly makes a remark about being brothers and the screen instantly goes to a flashback of them fighting as children. Due to this attempt to give each character their own story line, the movie went all over the place.
The Rise of Cobra begins with Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans in the regular army as they deliver a special set of warheads. Their convoy is attacked by an evil organization known as Cobra, which easily blows them away with surprisingly superior weaponry. Luckily, the G.I. Joes come to save the day and recruit both Tatum and Wayans because they ask nicely and happen to be the best soldiers ever. The rest of the movie is basically a fight to recover the warheads and uncover the mastermind behind this dastardly plot to take over the world. The main comment about the story that I have (other than that it was terribly generic and poorly executed), is that it seemed to borrow a lot from other action/adventure movies in the past.
Throughout the film, I kept getting this feeling that I was watching a tacky, modernized clone of the Star Wars movies condensed into a single movie. From the way Tatum and Wayans joined the Joes in the beginning to the final battle which blatantly transformed the attacks on the Death Stars in Episodes IV and VI (by taking parts from both) into an underwater operation, I just couldn't stop noticing similarities to my favorite epic trilogy. I really hope the writers realized what they were doing as they planned this film, because it couldn't be more obvious to me.
With all that said, I'd like to admit that I found G.I. Joe somewhat entertaining. I had a great time laughing at this film during all the serious parts and mocking the real attempts at humor because I happen to enjoy watching bad movies. I'm not sure that this is what the director intended to have happen, but what matters is that I had a good time. However, considering the price of theater tickets these days, I would also add that I will probably never see this film again unless it happens to show up on TV late one night with all the other trashy and obscure action films. For now, I'll just sit back and wait for all the mediocre sequels to start appearing. They probably can't be much worse than this one.
Bo999 - 8/13/2009 (reply)
I think the reason why they have flashbacks is because to make as much sense as possible, as much as i know... i think this is pre GI Joe, so I dont think it was made in the comics, or w/e GI Joe was in. Sorta like the new Star Trek I guess, something I dont know too much about as well.DCBargas - 8/17/2009 (reply)
Well I heard the director like the comics so much, but it's basically basing on 3 different things. First, the toyline that started it all. Second, the TV show that brought in more fans. Third, the comics that brought even more fans to G.I. Joe. So I don't really remember if they ever shown how Cobra started or how the G.I. Joe became to be. And that's why this movie is here in the first place. But they could've done a lot better with the plot, but overall I enjoyed it. :)"Yo Joe!" This is better then Transformers. (WARNING: Might contain spoilers) - 9 August 2009
overall: 9
I just got back from the theater from watching the movie "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra". I am not much of a G.I. Joe fan, so I really don't have any complaints about this movie. It was really great! The action was awesome, the cast was average, and the plot was done pretty well. This is the new generation of G.I. Joe. Even though I have never seen the first two Mummy movies, and I really can't say much about the third one (it wasn't directed by the same guy), but Stephen Sommers really did a fantastic job on this. And really I don't have a problem with the cast (Joseph Gordon-Levitt was really good as *cough* SPOILER ALERT! *cough* Cobra). Over all, I think this is a fun family movie. Although my only complaints (I know I said I have no complaints about this film, but...this just came up in my mind, lol) in this film is the character development with almost all of them. Let's hope they develop them more in a sequel. I would love to see where the plot is going to take these characters in the future sequels. I like this movie more then those Bayformers movies (a.k.a. Transformers directed by Michael Bay). I think this movie is better then those two.
So go see it. It's a must-see movie for everyone (I don't know about the G.I. Joe fans though). Anyways, that's all I have to say. Later!
Yo Joe! - 7 August 2009
overall: 10
This movie was better than Transformers 2 better than G-Force and way better than Star Trek. This movie has a ton of action and a ton laughter in the movie. I like the part when they jump through the train and when the rockets try to shoot the guys in powersuits. My favorite charcter in the movie is mostly Snake Eyes. It is good for the youth cause when i got in i saw mostly teenagers and kids screaming for the movie which got annoying. This movie was the bomb!!!
Yo Joe :) again - 15 August 2009
overall: 10
This movie was better than Transformers 2 better than G-Force and way better than Star Trek. This movie has a ton of action and a ton laughter in the movie. I like the part when they jump through the train and when the rockets try to shoot the guys in powersuits. My favorite charcter in the movie is mostly Snake Eyes. It is good for the youth cause when i got in i saw mostly teenagers and kids screaming for the movie which got annoying. This movie was the best of the year that i have ever saw yet.
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DCBargas - 8/24/2009 (reply)
Nice review. :)